


HONEY | 자기

by pretive



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Adopted Jeon Jungkook, Bad Parenting, Bullying, Deaf Jeon Jungkook, Deaf Kim Taehyung | V, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Hurt Jeon Jungkook, Hurt/Comfort, Jeon Jungkook-centric, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V-centric, Jungkook loves honey, Kim Namjoon | RM & Kim Taehyung | V Are Siblings, Kim Seokjin | Jin & Kim Taehyung | V Are Siblings, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, M/M, Multi, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Sweet Jeon Jungkook, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretive/pseuds/pretive
Summary: "honey, no matter how sweet,will always suffocate the beeif they dive too deep into it."Jeongguk loves honey and his family.He thinks he might love Kim Taehyung.Maybe he will learn how to love himself, too.





	1. honey tea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notyoongs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notyoongs/gifts), [MissMin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMin/gifts).



> Reference |  
> [Shibuya Crossing](https://cdn6.dissolve.com/p/D246_40_794/D246_40_794_1200.jpg)

"honey, no matter how sweet,  
will always suffocate the bee  
if they dive too deep into it."

_-_

It didn't take much time as a child to realize that he wasn't worth much. In his parent's eyes, he was born _damaged_ , incomplete, unwelcome. It was never really his own fault because he couldn't control biology, but he learned from his parents that it made him less somehow.

His interpreter told him that he was _special_ , not less, but he grew to see that even she was completely whole. The only reason she signed was to help out kids like him, the ones that weren't. Whole, that is. As he grew older, he began to wish that he could hear her voice first if he ever received the chance.

Sarah Wang changed his life. She was the reason he had flourished in his classes, obtained the friend he had. Had she not forced her son, Jackson, to take him under his wing and befriend him, Jeongguk may have never found anyone else to talk to other than Sarah. But Jackson, kindhearted and stubborn, became his protector and best friend despite their three year age difference. (It was his only friend, really.)

Jackson's family had traveled around until their son turned thirteen when they finally settled in Busan, a part of their quest to always end up on the coast. His father stepped down from his job as a traveling businessman and settled into a more permanent and stable branch of business. He wanted to raise Jackson in a stable home. Sarah was fluent in ten languages, all of which put Jeongguk in complete awe. Wherever she went, the need for good interpreters and translators were always high. Jackson himself was fluent in four as a thirteen-year-old and was proud of it during all of his foreign studies units.

The Wang family became second only to his own, and he often found himself wishing that maybe he had been born to a family like theirs where language wasn't a barrier. Why hadn't his own parents attempted to learn to sign for him? Why hadn't his own family tried harder to bridge that gap? Sarah tried to assure him that they tried hard, but they worked too often to support him to pursue it. Jeongguk tries not to feel resentful when he sees his parents watching television with his hyung instead of talking to him.

He knew that they cared, at least to some extent. They just hadn't been prepared for him to arrive broken. 

Jeongguk had learned how to read lips well, how to write and type quickly so that he could communicate with his parents easily. _"Adaptation,"_ His father once wrote to him, _"Is the key to your survival in the real world, Jeongguk."_ Still, there was no rival to when he would go for a sleepover at the Wang's and there was no hesitation before they were signing to him, even during dinner.

The Wang family took him in as an extension of their own family, of his own. They introduced him to honey, which turned out to be his favorite treat to ask for when he went to their house. Honey in tea, honey on biscuits, raw honey off of a spoon when he could convince Sarah to let him have some. After a few months, Jackson poked him on the nose while he's eating a honey stick that they got from the market. "The honey around here is dark and golden. It's kind of like your eyes, Gguk!"

Jackson was far more physically mature than himself, seeing as Jeongguk still had baby-rounded cheeks while Jackson was already starting to attract eyes from everywhere he went. The only thing that Jeongguk had going for him was his eyes, large and honey filled.

In his leisure time, whenever he wasn't with Sarah or Jackson, Jeongguk found himself furthering his studies in school, trying his hardest to become the top in his class. He always hoped that he would bring something home that would make his parents smile at him. He was excelling in everything that he did. Jackson encouraged him to join sports and he even had a few people that would sit with him at lunch. His parents simply told him that he was doing good and to keep it up so that his pride didn't take over. That simple interaction was enough to motivate him for weeks. 

It was when he started learning to dance that his parent's relationship became rocky— not only with each other but him. More than once he was grateful that he couldn't hear what they were arguing about; that he could turn a blind eye and not have to read their lips. Dancing was put on the back burner, and he continued on with his life. 

A few days after his twelfth birthday, he's at the Wang's house when he asks Jackson via whiteboard, "Hyung, how do you sign, 'divorce'?" Jackson hugged him but Jeongguk couldn't help but be slightly thankful. His parents had argued about who would have to take him, and they decided that he would stay with his mother in Busan. For this, too, he was grateful.

-

"Jeongguk-ah!" Jackson speaks and signs simultaneously as Jeongguk enters their house. He's carrying his book bag with clothes stuffed in it, his books laid haphazardly on his bed at his mother's house. "It's been ages!" Before Jeongguk can sling the bag onto the floor, he's enveloped in a hug. He's thirteen years old, yet still hasn't grown too old for hugs from his hyung, which never cease to bring him comfort.

When Jackson does pull away, Jeongguk signs back with a laugh. 'It's been a week hyung. You were in America, remember?' Jackson began to dismiss the statement in the middle of it, sending Jeongguk in a fit of giggles. 'Did you bring back anything for me?' Jeongguk teases, not expecting Jackson to pull a chain out of his pocket.

After regaining the younger's attention, he signs. "It's the English sign for 'love'. They use it as a trendy hand gesture down there, but I figured you would appreciate it." He hands Jeongguk the little keychain, a transparent gold kind of color, smooth and weighing on his fingertips. Clutching it tightly, he reaches up to wrap the elder in a hug.

_Thank you hyung!_ Jeongguk stops, thinking before signing again. _Is it honey?_ Jackson caught on quickly, grinning at the thirteen-year-old.

"It's called amber, I'll show you later. For now, let's say hi to eomma and appa and then get upstairs. Mark wants to facetime with us!" Jeongguk's mouth dropped open a bit. Mark was one of Jackson's older friends from the United States. Granted, he was only one year older than Jackson himself, but that meant that Mark was four years older than Jeongguk. A sixteen and seventeen-year-old talking to a thirteen-year-old by their own volition? Not heard of.

Once, Jeongguk asked him about why he hung around Jeongguk so often when he had other people who wanted to be his friend too. Other people that are far more attractive than his dorky chubby dongsaeng.

_"Jeonggukie, you're way cooler than they are. Plus, who else can I practice my language skills with?" He reassured, fluffing the younger's hair._ Jeongguk didn't tell him that literally, anyone that took a language course could practice with him.

After greeting Sarah and Ruiji, they took off up the stairs to Jackson's room. Jeongguk wasn't even changed from his school clothes by the time he saw Jackson waving excitedly to his screen. Jeongguk quickly pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, stealing a sweatshirt from Jackson's closet before moving to sit on the side of the bed.

Jeongguk didn't have a phone of his own, but he wished that he did so he could do things like that with it. Maybe he'd be able to make more friends if he had a phone to text them with. He sees some kids with their brand new phones and wishes that he could have one. 

He's watching innocently when Jackson grabs onto his collar and pulls him into the frame. He must have yelped or something, because when he rights himself, Jackson is asking if he's okay. Random sounds sometimes escaped him without noticing, and he thought of it as one of his worst features. When he gets too excited, his parents say that he squeaks and to try to control his emotions. Times like this, he's too in the moment to realize that he's let out a sound until someone points it out to him. 

Jeongguk's ear's burn red. 'I'm fine. Was that loud?' Jackson's soft smile only makes him more embarrassed. He looks down at his lap and ignores the other two completely when Jackson taps his leg, and then points to the screen.

Jeongguk's face lights up when the boy on the screen starts signing to him. "Hello, Jeongguk-ssi." Jeongguk signs back excitedly in ASL. "Jackson wouldn't shut up about his favorite younger sibling. Did he ever give you your gift?" Mark talks to both of them, makes Jeongguk feel like he's a natural part of this conversation, a part of his and Jackson's friendship. 

Mark talks to them a little longer before yawning. "It's midnight here, I need to go. Goodbye Jeongguk, goodbye Jackson." They say their goodbyes before hanging up, leaving Jeongguk with a grin on his face. Jackson just smiles back, reveling in the pure smile of his dongsaeng.

-

When Jeongguk turns fourteen, he's in the midst of mourning his mother. After getting in touch, his father sends back the release of guardianship to Sarah and Ruiji Wang from Hong Kong.

-

At fifteen, the Wang family officially adopts him, and he's more than grateful. He doesn't see his father on the day of the hearing, nor does he want to. He's essentially being given up, and it still stings just the slightest.

The official adoption ceremony happens during the summer, right before they go on vacation, Jeongguk's first vacation outside of the country. They go to Japan and Jeongguk is enamored by the lights and the food and the culture.

Jackson, having lived in Tokyo once before, takes him _everywhere_. They go to shops and pretty museums, they go out for lunch and Jackson teaches him some things as best as he can despite the large gap between some meanings. Jeongguk can't find it in him to care about any of that when Jackson leads him to a little cafe where Jeongguk experiences the best honey tea in his entire life.

'Hyung, I don't ever want to leave.' Jeongguk signs lazily, eyes closing in contentment in the cafe booth. It's been a long day, a fulfilling day, and he's totally content.

Jackson taps his hand to get his attention, and Jeongguk sees him laugh a little bit. "I'm glad you're having a great time. Tomorrow we can go up to one of the mountains if eomma and appa are up for it." Jeongguk's smile is wide and it makes it a little difficult to drink more of the tea but he doesn't care because he's so _happy_. He's in Japan on vacation with a family that cares about him, and he's happy. 

Jackson buys him another honey tea to go, and they brave the streets back to the hotel. 

Everything runs so smoothly, that neither of them expected the blip that occurs in their evening. They begin crossing at the Shibuya crossing when someone knocks into Jeongguk, dislodging his hand from Jackson's and knocking him over. When he stands, all he can see is the swarm of people and absolutely no sign of Jackson. It's all people, people, itchy jackets on his arms, too strong perfumes, and he feels sick and dizzy and disoriented. 

Just as the beginnings of a panic attack settle into his bones, there's a hand on his arm and Jackson is finally there and ushering him in the opposite direction than he had been facing. Once safely on the other side of the large street, Jackson pulls them to a bench and hugs the younger close. From the chaos to the calm, he feels like there is an uncomfortable buzzing underneath his skin. There are phantom touches that linger from the people that brushed up against him, and it's overwhelming him. 

Jeongguk, still in shock from the onslaught of people and panic, begins to cry into his hyung's shoulder.

Never before had Jeongguk felt that much fear than being completely alone in the middle of a bunch of unwelcome senses in a foreign place.

Never before had Jackson felt so strongly the need to protect Jeongguk from everything. Call it instinctual, now that he's legally a hyung. (He had already earned that title long ago, but now he had so much more impact and influence on Jeongguk's life.)

When the younger calms down enough to see past the blur of tears, he pulls back to sign at his hyung. 'I got pushed, I'm sorry.' The younger continuously signs this, touching his thumb and pinky up to his forehead and back down, working himself back up.

Jackson quickly grabs onto the younger's hands and sets them down before signing back. "It's not your fault. Here, take a sip of the tea. It's a good thing I held onto it, huh? Drink." He grabs the tea that was abandoned between them and pushes it into the younger's hands. He waits for Jeongguk to take a sip and calm down before he speaks again. "Now, let's get back to the hotel. I think that's enough crowds for the day." Jeongguk gently nods in agreement as Jackson runs his hands through the younger's hair.

The walk back to the hotel is short, thankfully, and Jackson leads him straight past their shared bedroom and to Sarah and Ruiji's. The two are sitting in bed, Ruiji watching the television while Sarah reads a book. It isn't uncommon for Jackson and Jeongguk to hang out with their parents (Jeongguk still finds it a little strange to think of them as his official parents), usually running into their room and jumping on the end of the bed to disturb them.

This time, Jackson gently urges him to sit down on the bed while Jackson quickly explains the situation to them. Jeongguk doesn't look up, instead, playing with the bedsheets. If he had been able to hear, he could have easily shouted out and listened for Jackson to call back to him. Instead, he floundered about in the middle of a crosswalk and then _cried_.

He continues to sip on the remnants of his honey tea.

The bed shifts a little bit, and before he knows it he's being tugged into a hug by not Jackson nor Sarah, but Ruiji. The man had always been kind to Jeongguk. He'd taken him on countless trips with Jackson and adopted him for christ sakes. But never would he think that he would hug him and comfort him like a son, no matter what paperwork he filled out as such.

And it feels nice, having a father that cares. It's nice to feel Sarah's hands run through his hair and know that he's got an eomma that isn't scared to communicate with him. And Jackson sitting in front of him, concerned but looking just as caring, as usual, comforts him. Because he finally realizes just how lucky he got to end up where he is, with these wonderful people treating him like the family that he hadn't had before.

The next day, true to word, they go to the mountains. Jackson holds onto his hand much tighter than before as they walk places and go to get Jeongguk another honey tea because he won't stop talking about it. Sarah and Ruiji walk a few paces behind them always. It's comforting to know that they're there because Jeongguk is still shaken up from the day before, and not quite willing to leave them yet.

At the archway to the mountain, there is a wishing tile area, and he's eager to fill one out because it's just so obvious to him now.

The two (four) things he loves most come to mind. _I wish for infinite honey, and infinite happiness for my family_ It's obvious.

-

He thrives at the beginning of the following school year. He tries out for sports, joins the art club, the dance club even, and absolutely adores all of it. He loves the dancing the most, he thinks, because he likes the people in it and the way the music vibrated through his body.

Some of the people in the club are insanely talented, some are from different schools, he learns, and all of them come together to dance. It's _awesome_. 

Jackson always tells him how proud he is of him for putting himself out there, oftentimes whenever he comes to pick Jeongguk up from his practices. 

It gives Jeongguk a strange sense of contentment to have someone just throw those compliments and encouragement out there, and he uses it to motivate himself to do better. In _everything_. 

His marks are high, his dance group is supportive, he's able to express himself through art that he can't in other ways. Sports brings him challenges that he works even harder to overcome because adapting is the key to his survival in the real world. The only time he tells this to Jackson, it leads to a long discussion with his parents and hyung about how he shouldn't think that way, that it's a toxic way to motivate himself. 

He doesn't make the mistake of telling them this again, even if he still lives by it.

-

He's freshly sixteen when he gets his first phone, and also begins his practices for basketball.

Jeongguk loves the phone because now he can text Jackson all that he wants and sometimes Mark if they're awake at the same time. The phone even has a hearing impaired setting that allows the phone's light to flash and catch his attention. Overall, he's over the moon with excitement about taking it to school with him, which is also how it ends up at practice with him.

Their basketball conditioning began early, the coach wanting to make plenty of time and get some of the newer players ready for the season as a team. Jeongguk loved basketball, and he'd even had a few people that would come up to him with the coaches whiteboard and talk to him. The only downside to all of this is his inability to hear the buzzer, but they've come up with a light system on either side of the court for him, and he's extremely thankful. His coach seems to like him a lot, and none of the players express to him if there are any bad feelings toward him.

After a long practice, they end up back in the locker room to take showers and change out of their clothes before going home. He's just got his shirt over his head when his phone flashes to get his attention, probably Jackson letting him know that he's arrived to pick him up. He doesn't notice the startled and angry looks from his teammates until one of them grabs onto his shoulder and spins him around, holding up a sloppily written note on a whiteboard.

_Did you just take a picture of us fag?_ His eyes widen and he's violently shaking his head, too busy trying to defend himself to really think about the word they used. Opening his phone, he goes straight to the notes app where he quickly types out an explanation of how the flash is his deaf-person ringtone. After the message is relayed to the locker room, the angry faces relax, and more excited faces appear.

Someone grabs onto the whiteboard and tells him that they want to put their phone number in, and it gets passed around the room. He's too excited to notice that something is going on other than getting new contacts.

He gets his phone back shortly after he finishes dressing, and leaves with only a little reminder of their insult to him earlier. Jeongguk knew how badly he would be treated if someone realized that he _did_ like boys and was on the basketball team. As he leaves the locker room, he can't hear the snickers of the others.

Approaching Jackson's brand new black truck, one that he was far too proud of, he jumps in with a grin.

"Good practice?" Jackson asks, not putting the vehicle in gear until Jeongguk has answered him.

Jeongguk's signs are quick and excited, which amuses Jackson. Usually, Jeongguk was a little bit worn out after practice, yet this time he was practically bouncing around the cab of the truck. 'Yes! Some of my teammates put their contacts into my phone. I can actually talk to some of them now!' Jeongguk's attention is quickly averted back to the device, and he doesn't see the sad look that his hyung gives him.

The next day is when everything comes to a head.

He's in the middle of his English lecture when he's suddenly being escorted out of the room by the teacher. Confused and a little bit terrified, he waits for the teacher to try to explain what the problem is. Sarah had left for a meeting in Seoul, and he knew that he could make it through a couple of days without an interpreter. But now, he wishes desperately that she were here as his teacher quickly writes down a message on a scrap of paper.

_Your phone is making inappropriate sounds, shut it off_ Reaching into his back pocket, the screen is lit with an alarm labeled ㅋ ㅋ ㅋ. He shuts it off quickly and notices the classmates at the front of the room through the glass in the door. His teammates, laughing hysterically from their seats. His heart jumps to his throat.

Even later, as Jackson comes to his defense to the dean of administration, he feels sick.

All he really picks up on is the words 'pornographic', 'hazing', and 'consequences' form on the administrator's mouth before he tunes out.

What had he done to deserve any treatment like this? He'd certainly had people that were uncomfortable around him because he was deaf, even people that would ignore him entirely. But never once had he been targeted as the brunt of a joke like this. He had done everything that he could to adapt, but how was he meant to adapt to this? 

Ruiji allows him to come home from school early, and he doesn't make it to practice that night. He doesn't have to go in order to know that the team was getting their places on the team threatened as well as their behinds chewed after administration found out about their antics.

Jackson spent a solid hour at his defense, and while the administration couldn't formally accuse any of them of the prank, they were able to pass the message along to the coach. Regardless, Jeongguk feels like his love for the sport was ruined by the prank and the people that he had mistakenly trusted. 

Jackson and Ruiji sign out their angry rants, but he doesn't reply. Jeongguk is upset, but again it isn't because of someone else. He curses the day that he was born, born broken, born to be the butt of a joke for his classmates. In the back of his mind, he wonders what else people have said about him that he wasn't aware of.

Jeongguk feels a little bit stupid to believe that he could adapt to everything, to succeed in everything. Not everything could be molded to fit him. He could not mold himself to fit everything.

-

Two days later, when he finally returns to school, he brings along a letter of 'resignation' from the basketball team. His coach tries to talk him out of it, but eventually, he realizes that Jeongguk can't be swayed. Jeongguk notices the guilty looks from people as he walks through the halls, sees some of his former teammates bow their heads in shame. As he walks down the hallways, though, he cannot hear their whispered insults, only read their lips if they manage to get caught. It hurts just the same.

He does tell Jackson, later that night, what he sees the other kids mouth about him. Jeongguk asks him what's so wrong with liking guys in the first place. He had never put much thought into his preference, it was just there. It isn't the most direct nor ideal way of coming out, but Jackson just hugs him and then reassures him that there is nothing wrong with him. Part of him aches to believe that that is true, that there is nothing wrong with being gay in a country that is against him. 

The other part of him knows that he is on the losing side of this situation.

-

The summer before his seventeenth birthday, Sarah and Ruiji propose a move.

Jackson has finished his courses in university and while he would be able to move at any point he pleases, he likes to stick around his family. Jeongguk thinks that part of it has to do with him.

"We could move to the states. Jeonggukie can sign ASL and communicate in English, so it would be great. Somewhere on the lower West Coast, where it's warm." Sarah suggests as they look at different listings. Jeongguk, while slightly terrified of the thought of moving across the world, was fascinated by the idea of getting to see another country.

So far, he's been very okay with the idea of moving. There was really nothing tying him to Busan other than family, and he'll have that wherever they decide to go. Memories will follow him anywhere that he decides to go, he has learned. 

Right now, he's sitting at the table with all of them, including Jackson. Jeongguk is still damp from his shower as he got home from a run, something that Jackson rolled his eyes at before plopping a honey candy into his dongsaeng's hand.

Jeongguk had taken to going to the gym with Jackson whenever the elder went, and then went even without his hyung, and before long he was shedding any and all baby fat left. Most of the baby fat that he had during adolescence had long since vanished when he participated in sports, but now Jeongguk began to fill out with muscles and loved it. His newfound confidence didn't stop the rumors that spread about him after the locker room incident. But it helped him let the comments roll off the back when he knew he could physically defend himself if he wanted to.

But didn't stop him from eating everything in the house when prompted. Sarah had jokingly complained about having their finances drained by Jeongguk's stomach after he'd eaten his third serving of seaweed soup. (His honey tea addiction had increased tenfold in the past few months.)

“What do the two of you think?” Ruiji looks at his sons. (That had become a permanent fixture in his life too, being able to call them what they are— his mom, dad, and brother.)

Jeongguk, too busy trying to figure out why the candy tasted a little bit different than ones that he'd had in the past (which was a lot)— he'd learned all about how a colony's honey can differ from batch to batch based off of the flowers that bloom that year and the other natural effects— gets shaken out of his thoughts by Jackson, looking at him with a smug look.

He rolls his eyes at his hyung before turning to look at his parents. 'I'm sorry, what?' They all chuckle at him.

"There is a nice Korean community in the Los Angeles area, relatively speaking. And there is a school nearby that I'm sure I could get a job at. Do you think you would be willing to move? We don't want to uproot you from your life, Jeongguk." Sarah explains, and he mulls it over.

There was nothing tying him to this town other than the address. Memories don't tie a person to a place, they tie a place to the person. His memories of Busan will follow him no matter where he goes. If he ever feels like he needs to, he can visit his mother's headstone some day in the future if he comes back. But the thought of a new start, a new place, one in a country where stigma is less regarding the disabled and dysfunctional (though not completely abated), was incredibly enticing. In the back of his mind, a voice reminds him that same-sex marriage is legal there. 

He simplifies it. 'I think it would be fun,' he tells his family, who grin excitedly. Jackson pumps his fist in the air and his parents laugh as the elder walks around the room bouncing on the balls of his feet, hyper and excited.

Jeongguk knows that Jackson has always wanted to go to Los Angeles and live with Mark, but he loved his family too much to stay far away for too long.

The last of his candy melts away in his mouth and appreciates the aftertaste. The difference in it, he realizes, is that unlike most honey made things, this one didn't leave a bitter taste in his mouth afterward. This was entirely sweet.

-

Moving, he soon finds out, takes much more time and money than he had anticipated.

Most of their last month in Busan is spent at appointments, packing, planning, and finalizing. The house looks strangely empty, save for a couple of essentials to live off of until the official moving day.

'Hyung,' Jeongguk signs to Jackson a few nights before they're supposed to fly around the world to their new home— homes, respectively, because Jackson is getting an apartment close by. Jeongguk isn't fond of not having Jackson a few doors away. It's kind of ridiculous to be seventeen and so attached to one person, but he supposes that it's because Jackson is one of the few (three, to be exact) people that he's been able to talk to for most of his life. (And because Jackson is his big brother, and he doesn't exactly want him to leave.)

Jackson is playing on his phone on the other end of the air mattress, unaware that Jeongguk was signing to him. Jeongguk smacks the floor to get his attention, and the elder jumps. He can read the word, "Ya!" leaving Jackson's mouth and giggles.

"Yes?" The elder signs after he puts down his cellphone. Jeongguk is laying across the majority of the air mattress, head hanging off the edge enough to see Jackson playing some game on his phone.

'Do you think eomma and appa will let me stay over at your apartment sometimes?' He asks, hand movements lazy in the air above him. Jeongguk is tired from their long day of moving things into vans to drop off at the postal office. Sarah and Ruiji had bid their final goodbyes to the house before catching a flight to Los Angeles to close on the house and to begin moving things into the new home.

Jackson teasingly flops backward and grabs tightly onto the younger in a mock-wrestle, tossing him gently off of the air mattress. "The real question is whether or not _I_ will let you stay over." You're kind of a pest, Gguk." Jackson jokes and flops backward to monopolize the now free space on the bed. Jeongguk huffs, reaching up and attempting to pull his blanket from underneath his mass of a hyung.

Jackson eventually lets him back up on the mattress, which is substantially better than the hardwood floor. But they still have to share the mattress, because it's borrowed, and that makes it a little bit _less_ comfortable. Every time they fall asleep, Jeongguk is glad that he's deaf because he doesn't have to hear Jackson's snoring, only feel the tremors the bed makes as a result.

It surely isn't the first time they've had a sleepover— they were best friends before he was adopted into their family— and it certainly won't be the last. Maybe Jeongguk is overthinking everything.

He's about to live in a brand new house in the United States of America with his family. He's going to be able to finish schooling and get a college education because of his parents and his hyung's support. He's going to be perfectly fine, Jeongguk just needs to let go of some of the anticipations regarding the move as a whole. 

For now, he tries to fall asleep over the rumbling of his hyung.

-

Despite his slight fear of large crowds, Jeongguk seems to flourish in an airport. Jackson assumes that its because Jeongguk is more observant than the average person and can catch onto signs easily. But another part of him believes that it has something to do with the inane amount of honey teas he consumes from the airport vendors. They've got an hour until their flight, and Jeongguk is using his money to buy large quantities of the sacred drink.

Part of Jackson regrets helping him get that summer job as a cafe busboy and dishwasher because now Jeongguk can buy as many as he pleases and leave Jackson to deal with his sugar-induced hyperactivity. 

'Hyung, I really think that we need those neck pillows. They're so soft.' His signs are awkward because he's unwilling to set down his cup of liquid energy, trying to sign with it in his hand. Some of his signs are borderline explicit to anyone who doesn't know what they're _actually_ supposed to mean. 

Jackson pulls him back down into his seat. "I don't think we need those neck pillows. You've already got a neck pillow, and it is just a soft." Jeongguk shrugs, knee bouncing as he takes another sip. Jackson checks on the contents left inside. _Half._

Both boys play on their phones, answering questions that their parents' message to them and continuously checking that they have everything they need to get onto the plane without any mishaps. When the hour is up, Jeongguk is (blessedly) drinking water and mellowing out after his sugar high as they navigate the plane and their seats. 

Jackson can't help but be slightly worried about the younger. He's afraid because he knows things that Jeongguk doesn't, has made plans that he's unsure of going through with for fear of upsetting Jeongguk. Jackson knows that Jeongguk will do fine academically, he's almost positive that Jeongguk won't have a problem with the move itself. But Jeongguk is too afraid of making friends, too distrustful to thrive socially. He isn't going to be around all the time anymore, and he can't stand the thought of Jeongguk leading a lonely life all because of high school pricks.

For now, Jeongguk is as large-eyed and happy as he normally is with his hyung, and he tries to think on the positive side of what may happen.

-

Eleven hours is a long time to be in such a small space. Jeongguk is lucky to have fallen asleep quickly upon liftoff, but three hours later he's waking up miserably. Mainly because the three teas and water that he chugged before the flight had finally caught up to him and he may just have to piss in his carry on because _holy shit_. As soon as he can stop the pee-contraction that he's suffering from for a moment, he climbs over Jackson (thank god for the two-person isle of seats) and stumbles back to the plane's toilet.

When he gets back to his seat, Jackson is dazedly looking at him, concerned. "Is everything okay?" He signs slowly once Jeongguk is settled down in his seat once more. He secures his neck pillow back around his neck. 

'Euphoric.' He signs back, and it seems to satisfy the elder because he's quickly asleep once more. He double checks that the volume on the built-in move screen is all the way off so that he doesn't disturb any of the passengers and settles for watching some drama that screen recommends. 

Only eight more hours.

-

Eight hours and one season of a romantic drama later, he thinks that he may be considered an expert on love.

-

Because their plane left at 6:30 A.M., it was close to midnight in Los Angeles when they arrived. Jackson had planned accordingly to jet lag in order to get himself adjusted quickly, but Jeongguk hadn't been so careful. Ruiji was there to meet them, albeit tiredly. Jackson trudged behind as Ruiji and Jeongguk signed about their flight and asking if it was too early in the morning for another honey tea.

The answer was yes, it was too early. (He only pouts for a moment, too excited about getting to see his dad.)

Jackson falls asleep in the car and Jeongguk eats the snack that he had smuggled off of the plane, unable to sign to Ruiji as he was too busy focusing on the road ahead and the traffic. That doesn't bother him much, though, because he'll no doubt have plenty of time to talk to him when the moving settles down and they've got their routines back into place. Namely, the part of the routine where he's at home at night and bugging Ruiji about his day at work while Sarah cooks in the kitchen. 

The ride home is spent mostly watching the buildings and the nightlife, every block a little bit different than the one before it until skyscrapers fade into neighborhoods and then townhomes as they reach the outskirts of Long Beach. When they pull up to the new house, he's in a sort of awe. It isn't as big as the one in Seoul, but it's a white two story with a garden and _wow_. He may be just the slightest bit in disbelief that he's actually going to be living here, that this is all the way across the world instead of some fever dream. 

He doesn't have much time to ponder his life decisions when Jackson is sleepily bumping into him in his attempt to get up the front steps. 

"You can decide what room you want tomorrow, for now, you'll sleep here," Ruiji tells him as he sets down his carry on bag. Jeongguk nods and lets his father hug him. "Goodnight, I'm glad my boys are back." _Me too_ Jeongguk thinks. 

He doesn't sleep until nearly four that morning, nine o'clock at night in Korea, which is how he finds himself awake at one in the afternoon the following day. 

"My other boy is finally awake!" Sarah signs as soon as she sees that he's paying attention. He smiles and opens his arms up for a hug, to which she quickly pulls him down into a hug. She's slightly dwarfed by his height, but they're both happy. Sarah because she has her kids within protective boundaries, and Jeongguk because he just loves his family. "I went out to get coffee earlier this morning, I bought you something. It's in the fridge. Grab it and then we can talk." 

Excitedly, he opens up the shiny new fridge to find a familiar logo. He faces Sarah with a grateful smile as he clutches it to his chest playfully.

“It isn’t the same brand, but we picked up a couple of their cups for you. I heard that you tried to get some from the airport when you arrived.” Sarah explains, and he takes a contented sip from the tea. It isn't the same brand at all, he can tell, but it isn't awful. In fact, it's really good, but pretty drastically different from the ones he enjoyed in Korea. 

After letting the tea settle him, he sets down the cup to reply. ‘In my defense, it would have only been five in the evening.’ Sarah laughs, pushing a slice of pizza toward him from somewhere unseen. 

“Well it’s lunchtime here, so eat up.” 

Over lunch, he learns that they had made both rooms plain so that he could have his choice when he got home. She tells him about Ruiji's antics at the airport, about how he had almost lost their keys before they had arrived. He forgot just how much conversation that Sarah could hold at a time, and it's nice to hear about something other than Jackson's anecdotes and jokes after a solid week of such. 

He finishes his lunch quickly, hungry from not having eaten anything for nearing fourteen hours. "Jackson said that the airplane ride wasn't all that peaceful for him, what did you think?" He remembers Jackson talking about how there was a baby on the plane who was absolutely precious, save for it's high pitched screaming at the pressure change. 

The flight hadn't been bad at all for himself, only long, he thinks. 'I'm deaf, so it was great.' Jeongguk jokes and Sarah laughs with him. 

He begins to wonder where his father and hyung were. Jeongguk is about to ask when a pair of arms are lifting him off of his bar stool. Unable to object verbally, he settles for thrashing and trying to turn and see the offender. It's unfair, he thinks. He wants to be able to tell the person off, but his hands are being pressed to his sides from the back hug. 

Eventually, he's lowered to the floor. Out of breath, it takes him a moment to make out the identity of his attacker, and when he does—

Mark huffs out a breath of air when Jeongguk pulls him into a hug. Jackson laughs, saying something along the lines of, "I guess we knew whom he was actually excited to see" but it falls on deaf ears. 

Jeongguk had been in close touch with Mark ever since Jackson introduced him. Jeongguk, antisocial and unable to communicate well to the majority of the population, had been elated to make a friend like Mark. Mark was still Jackson's best friend, but that doesn't bother Jeongguk at all since he knows that he's one of his best friends too. Jackson could wait for a minute while he said hi to his friend.

Mark had visited them in Korea once, and Jackson would often visit Los Angeles when he earned enough money to do so. That one time that he had made it to Korea was the only time that Jeongguk had met him in real life, despite their constant communication via technology. 

'Hyung!' He signs, sticking his tongue out at Jackson who is pouting behind the elder. His hyung would get over it, he's just excited. 

"Hey, kid. We just finished getting Jackson's apartment all fixed up." Their conversation after that flows easily as Jackson begins talks to Sarah, and Mark fills him in on what he's been doing in his dance group and work. In the past few months, Mark had been accepted into a program that gave him a job at the local hospital to shadow for credit and is currently loving it. 

Mark is easy to hold a conversation with because he always leaves things open-ended. "I heard that you get to choose your room, is that right?" Jeongguk nods, taking a final sip out of his tea and pouting. 

'Yeah, I haven't looked at the other one, I've been asleep.' That seems to inspire Jackson to lift him, barely able to see Mark sign out a 'let's go then' before he's being run like an American football through the hallways and down the stairs, protesting with grunts and gentle hits in order to keep Jackson from dropping him. (It isn't that he doesn't trust the elder, but he's seen Jackson drop his phone onto his own face while laying down.)

The bedroom in the basement is perfect, he thinks. There is a furnished lounge area outside of the room, at the bottom of the stairs. The basement even has its own bathroom, and Jeongguk thinks that it's obvious what his choice is when he flops back onto the freshly made bed. 

"I've got to go, I've got clinicals in a couple of hours and I want to get a shower in. We'll hang out for dinner or something sometime, okay?" Mark explains after looking at his watch. Jackson sits up on the bed from where he had flopped right next to his dongsaeng to say his own goodbye. 

Jeongguk's goodbyes with Mark are short, and soon Jeongguk and Jackson are left to themselves. "Let's get your stuff moved down," Jackson suggests, smacking him lightly on the thigh. 

Jeongguk groans.

-

To say that Jackson is a little bit concerned is an understatement. Jeongguk isn't doing _bad_ per se, but he isn't really doing _anything_.

In fact, he wonders if Jeongguk has left his room yet at all today as he heads for the coffee shop just down the street from his apartment. He's supposed to meet with Mark and a new friend to figure out his next course of action because frankly, he's lost. His parents aren't unaware nor uncaring about the younger, they just don't think it's something to worry about if it isn't causing him any harm. 

Jackson doesn't have the heart to tell them that loneliness will be the thing that ends up hurting him one day. 

The coffee shop is one he's begun to frequent often in the month since the move was finalized. Jeongguk liked their honey drinks and biscuits, and he liked the vibe in the restaurant for when he had papers to work on. He'd finally registered for a few classes at a community college until he could go full time the next semester. 

His friends are already sitting in a booth toward the front when he arrives, and he sits down with a huff. "Hi." He says, exasperated. Jackson had woken up at seven and seen that Jeongguk had been online, though quickly switched off as soon as he noticed. Jeongguk was avoiding this conversation, which means that he knows that he's doing something that Jackson doesn't like. 

Namjoon looks at him, amused. Mark gives him a look of sympathy. "I'm guessing that you're still trying to get him out of the house?" Mark asks, and he nods, eyes closing as he rests his head against the booth. This kid was giving him a headache. 

"I wish that Taehyung was more willing to stay in sometimes. He practically combusted when I said that I was coming here alone. He says I'm being too secretive, not letting him meet my new friend." Namjoon laughs, picking at his food in front of him. "Of course, I'm not going to introduce him until you figure out your plan." Another fry gets drowned in ketchup. 

Jackson huffs, leaning forward to steal a fry from the basket in the middle of the table. "I would love for them to meet, but I'd like to actually get him into the sunlight before introducing him to anyone. At the very least I would like him to meet your brother in public so I can kill two birds with one stone." Jeongguk was all too happy with their new home. He was taking propelled courses online and was about to fly through and complete the last of his schooling. He had absolutely nothing that he had to leave the house for, nor anyone who was around him for the majority of the day to change that. 

Mark gives his suggestion next. "Try texting him and just ask what it would take to get him to leave the house for a few hours. At the very least, ask him that. He'll probably ask for a tea and then you can run down the beach with it to get him out for a little bit. Exercise, sun, vitamins, all in one." Jackson rolls his eyes. 

"He's not going to fall for that, and if he did he's about ten times faster than me on a bad day. I've got short legs." Mark doesn't hesitate when he reaches into Jackson's pants to grab his cellphone. Jackson's resounding yelp draws some attention to them and Namjoon laughs at them as he plays on his own phone, presumably still handling his own younger brother. 

Mark texts Jeongguk for him. 

"Well as soon as you decide that your brother is ready, text me. Tae will probably go haywire with happiness. For now, Taehyung is upset that I left him with Seokjin to clean, so I should probably go." Namjoon excuses himself. "And we need to go on these lunches more, it's entertaining." Namjoon teases as he throws a five dollar bill to the table for his share. 

When they've said their goodbyes and Namjoon is gone, Jackson switches to the other side of the booth. 

Mark takes another fry from the dwindling basket. "He didn't stay long. I guess his brother really is as clingy as he says. Just like someone else's brother that I know of." Mark looks at him pointedly. He's been caught stranded in the crossfire between Jackson's futile attempts at extracting the younger from his new 'nest' as they have deemed it. 

Jackson shrugs. "Past tense. Jeonggukie _was_ clingy, but now he's literally avoiding me." He mumbles, a little put out. It's true that Jeongguk was the clingy one in their relationship, but he was a little bit overprotective. It wasn't all that long ago that he was fighting for the same thing, to get Jeongguk out of the house. But the last time he was in this situation Jeongguk's reluctance had been more severe and had validity. 

A faint buzz comes from the table. "Well, he's definitely not avoiding your wallet." Mark chuckles, showing Jackson the text that's lighting up his screen. Jackson shakes his head, fingers coming up to press against his temples to try to rub away the headache.

> Buy something for me. This afternoon, after 2 o'clock.

Jackson shakes his head in disbelief. "I didn't think it would actually work. Basically a fifty-fifty shot." Mark shrugs, picking up a handful of fries.

"I'm a skilled gambler." He states before shoving the fries into his mouth.

> Sure, anything. I'll pick you up at three or four.

-

When Jackson had promised to buy something for Jeongguk in return for a few hours together, he wasn't expecting Jeongguk to play him like this. Jeongguk could do shady things, get out of situations with little white lies and some suspiciously good excuses, but he'd never gotten something past Jackson. (That he knows of, at least.)

The betrayal turns out to be the hair salon that they are currently sitting in. 'I want some highlights. A whole hour of quality time.' Jeongguk had explained, far too smugly for his own good. Jackson couldn't even tell him no, because he had said, 'Sure, anything' like an idiot. 

"You're a snake." Jackson signed after handing his card over to pre-pay. Then Jeongguk grinned in that bunny toothed smile and suddenly any annoyance and anger were faded into gratefulness that Jeongguk had left the house and did something with him. (Regardless of the trick or what it would cost him.)

While Jeongguk was in the chair, Jackson took his time to firmly berate him and explain to him the importance of leaving the house for sunlight, to which Jeongguk sheepishly agrees to do more. 

Jeongguk's hair looks really nice on him, the highlights subtle but nice in contrast to his skin. "It's kind of honey-colored." Jackson notes, to which Jeongguk doesn't reply, only smiles smugly. They do go to the beach, despite the sun setting, and Jackson treats him to an ice cream cone from the boardwalk. They don't have a honey flavor, much to Jeongguk's chagrin, but the caramel option seems to sate his need. 

'Thank you hyung. Sorry for avoiding you.' He signs hesitantly, bowing his head a little bit before sitting up to wait for a reply. 

Jackson knows it won't do any good to scold him more, so he teases him like a good big brother. "You were avoiding me? I didn't notice." Jeongguk smiles at him, and it's enough to lessen his worry. 

He never asks Jeongguk why he's so hesitant to get out and do things because he knows that the younger doesn't have a firm response. It's just a feeling of dread, he guesses, just the same as he feels sometimes when Jeongguk _doesn't_ go outside enough. Right now, he's outside and smiling, and that's enough. 

For now.

-

"I'm pretty sure that when I said that you needed to get out more, that this was not what I had in mind." Jackson signs sarcastically, Mark standing beside him in shocked amusement. 

Jeongguk can only stand proudly in front of them with his brand new work apron held out. 'You didn't say that I couldn't work, you only said I needed to not be in the house all the time.' Mark snorts from beside Jackson but quickly covers his mouth to cover his smile, signing out a quick sorry before trying to calm his laughter. 

"When do you start?" He asks, exasperated. Jeongguk had really thrown him for a loop when he began to follow Jackson's advice and actually leave the house under the guise that he was going to the boardwalk. He supposes that the younger wasn't lying, but he definitely wasn't telling Jackson about this. 

Jeongguk is too proud of himself to register Jackson's slight annoyance. 'Not this Friday, but the next, when the person I'm taking over for leaves.' Jackson breathes deeply. 

"You know that I'm going to come by all of the time now to annoy you? And that you owe me dinner or something?" He asks, expression completely serious. Jeongguk rolls his eyes and nods. "You know that I'll kick anyone's ass who is mean to you, regardless of their job title and authority over you?" 

'Hyung,' Jeongguk signs, pushing his brother's shoulder gently. 

"If it makes you feel any better, Jacksonnie, I do know one of the other waiters that work there. I call him by his nickname, BamBam, I think he's about the same age as Jeonggukie. He's Korean. The lady that owns the shop took it over when her parents retired, and they're from Italy. It's a cultural environment, I'm sure he'll do fine." Mark defends Jeongguk in both sign and verbally, to which Jeongguk jumps in, nodding violently. 

'BamBam is great! Very patient. I'm not even working as a waiter, just an in-between.' Jackson pushes back the concern, knowing that it's not doing good things for his heart to get so worked up over an almost-adults decision. He's already lost years off of his life since he'd met Jeongguk when the younger was only ten. It's long past time for Jeongguk to make his own decisions without Jackson's interference and help.

"All right then. As long as you are completely sure about this." He replies, only to get picked up by a pair of strong arms. "I can't believe eomma and appa knew before I did." Jackson mopes after he's set down. Jeongguk, excited, chirps. He and Mark share a look.

-

Jeongguk doesn't know why Jackson wants him to go out to this dinner with new friends he's made. Jeongguk hasn't even heard of these friends before, and now they're going out to eat together in one weird big group. Jackson is almost astral projecting with how much excitement is forcing itself out of him, so Jeongguk can't even say _no_ or else he'll feel bad. Even Sarah and Ruiji had been eager to see him leave the house, for some reason. He tries not to think too deeply into the reasons that they might want him out of the house.

That's how he ends up stuffed by the wall in a booth, waiting for Namjoon and Seokjin, some friends that Mark had introduced Jackson to because apparently, Mark knows just about everyone in Los Angeles. As far as he knows, the two are brothers and from Korea, but that's the extent of his knowledge. Jackson and Mark seem like they're far too excited for Jeongguk to meet them as if he's going to make any sort of connection with them if they can't actually communicate. Part of him wonders if Jackson had just let the fact that he's deaf slip his mind in the excitement. 

Of course, Jeongguk doesn't actually know if they know anything about him being deaf, or if they'll try to talk to him at all. But he has to assume that not everyone that Jackson meets and introduces him to will be both Korean and able to sign. That Venn diagram has a very small overlap, he knows. 

So he makes sure that his phone is completely charged and brings a battery pack anyway, just in case this entire thing flops and he needs something to keep him occupied while Jackson tries to fix it for him. He continuously sips from his honey tea to calm himself down. Jackson and Mark have been switching between signing as they speak and then forgetting, faces turning too far for him to read their lips. 

He forces himself to not feel bitter that they're excluding him a bit. He's got other things to worry about, like his first day at work next week. He's already gone in to train a little bit, and it seems relatively easy, though he's been wrong about his ability to adapt to new environments before. (He doesn't think of it that way anymore, though the word sticks with him sometimes.) He has BamBam's phone number now, which pleases Jackson. (Jeongguk doesn't tell him that BamBam invited him to eat out with him and another friend tonight and that he had to decline. He's only slightly peeved.)

The three of them arrived at the restaurant early just in case, but as the time grows nearer to their actual planned meeting time, two things become possible; they are either extremely punctual or fashionably late, two things that he can respect in other people. Especially because he's already blown through twenty percent of his battery as a result of being so early.  
He gets his answer at exactly five-thirty when Jackson shakes his arm violently. "They're here!" He signs, and waves at not two, but three people. Jackson pulls him to stand up, which he doesn't refuse.

Instantly, his mouth goes dry. Not that he'd be at risk of stuttering or choking on his words, obviously, but his hands might shake really bad if he needs to say something to Jackson. The reason for his sudden heart palpitations was the group of people that were steadily making their way to the booth. 

All of them are tall, broad-chested, and handsome, even if none of their faces are too similar. The tallest one has dimples that make themselves known even when he isn't smiling and powdery blue hair that softens down the circumference of his biceps. Then there is the one trailing him, who is the embodiment of every single heartthrob and model he saw in magazines and on television networks in Korea. He is broad, has dark eyes, and Jeongguk feels like he should look away out of respect or something. But the third, the third is just as handsome as the last but just as soft and approachable as the first. In fact, he almost looks too hyper-realistic. This time he does look away, settling on Jackson. 

"Gguk, this is Namjoon, he's my age." He explains, pointing to Namjoon who bows. Jeongguk, dazed, bows back. He doesn't even notice that Jackson isn't vocalizing what he's signing. "This is Seokjin-hyung, he's just a year older than Mark-hyung." This time, Jeongguk bows first, a little more clear-headed as he's introduced. "And this is Taehyung, he's two years older than you." Taehyung bows at the same time as he does. 

Taehyung was exceptionally beautiful. There was absolutely no flaw that Jeongguk could fine about him, and for a moment, he’s jealous. 

But then Taehyung’s pretty hands are poised and signing to him, 'Hello, I’m Taehyung. I’m deaf too.'


	2. honey bee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs that got me through this mf chapter —  
> \- bury a friend _ billie eilish  
> \- pretty face _ public (thank you tari! you posted this and it 100% helped me get through the writers block that I had)  
> \- blue _ troye  
> \- chlorine _ TOP  
> \- you're somebody else _ flora cash  
> \- say something _ justin timberlake

Jeongguk isn't entirely sure how to start a conversation, but the Kim brothers definitely can. 

Mostly, he thinks, it's Jackson and Namjoon holding it up. They've got enough languages between them and plenty of topics from their drastically different studies to practically rule the academic press. Mark and Seokjin seem to have gotten into their own verbal conversation from where they sit on the outside of the booth. Jeongguk and Taehyung were shoved all the way into the booth, shoulders grazing the walls. (Jeongguk thinks that this is probably of Jackson's doing, and he resents him for that.) 

Namjoon is in the middle of a very in-depth monologue on some philosophical paper when Taehyung catches his eye and all of the sudden he's got his index finger to the edge of his nose and signs out 'boring' in ASL. Jeongguk's chest rumbles with laughter. 

'It's interesting, just not for a dinner topic.' Taehyung signs and Jeongguk nods in agreement. He's still not entirely sure how to keep the conversation going, but it seems like Taehyung doesn't have the same worries. 'They told me you're trying to graduate early so you can begin college. Tell me you aren't going to study something stupid, like philosophy.' He teases, earning a jab in the ribs from Namjoon. From then on, it's simple.

Taehyung asks lots of questions at the expense of his brothers, making everyone laugh. Sometimes Jackson or Namjoon interrupts them to have a little bragging session or to scold one of them gently. Taehyung makes lots of jokes about Namjoon being clumsy, to which the elder denied furiously. (Taehyung was proved correct when Namjoon knocks over his _and_ Seokjin's cup, making Seokjin erupt with laughter. Jeongguk isn't sure, but he has a feeling that it's an obnoxiously funny kind of laugh, based on the stares they get.)

Jeongguk learns that Taehyung wants to be a general pediatric practitioner, which surprises him. He knows perfectly well that it's possible for Taehyung to get a degree despite being deaf, but Taehyung himself doesn't give off the pre-med student vibe. (What he means by that is that Taehyung looks like he sleeps normal hours, versus Mark's under eyes. Mark looks a little bit resentful but gets over it quickly, it seems.)

'What do you want to do when you get into college?' Taehyung asks him, and he blushes. Jeongguk has an idea of what he wants to do, but it seems a little bit cliche. Jeongguk isn't particularly great with kids, as far as teaching and keeping them entertained goes, but he doesn't plan on going into either of those fields. What he wants to do is to become an adoption agent, make sure that kids get into good homes with nice people who can entertain them and teach them things. 

Jeongguk hasn't really expressed this to his family yet, because he's still a while out from going into specialized courses anyways which leaves him plenty of time to change his mind. 

'I've thought about being an adoption agent. I've still got time to think about it.' Taehyung smiles at him, nodding. He looks like he's about to ask something when their food finally gets handed to them. 

Jeongguk quickly eats most of his order of fries drowned in cheese, then drinks his honey tea quickly to get rid of the savory taste in his mouth. He frowns once the straw begins to bring up only air. 

He taps on Jackson's shoulder, the owner of which is in an intense verbal discussion that goes too fast for him to really decipher. Jackson pauses to turn and ask him what he needs. 'Can you ask for a refill for me?' He requests, and Jackson gives his affirmative before returning to his discussion between the four eldest. 

Taehyung is still eating his salad and chicken, which makes Jeongguk flush a bit. He works out enough to make up for his eating habits, of course, but it still feels shameful to have eaten a cardiac nightmare in a hoodie while sitting right in front of Kim Taehyung who's eating a salad. Had he not been so immersed in Taehyung's story about the many faults of his brother, he may have noticed Seokjin ordering and asked Jackson to order him something different. 

Jeongguk checks his phone for any possible updates from his SNS accounts. To his misfortune, he looks up just barely in time to see their waiter about to pass the table and notices that Jackson isn't paying attention. He's about to give up and steal sips from Jackson's cup instead when Taehyung's hand shoots up and he opens his mouth as if he's talking and— oh. Taehyung turns to him. 

'What was it that you had?' He asks him in sign. 

Jeongguk shyly signs out, 'Milk tea with honey.' Taehyung tells this to the waiter who smiles and nods to them. Taehyung turns back to him and gives him a boxy toothed smile. 'Thank you.' He tells Taehyung, still flushed slightly red. 

Jackson apologizes but he waves him off. 

Jeongguk is still a little bit shaken that Taehyung had gotten the drink for him. He knows that speech therapy is a thing because he went through it too— in Korea. He hadn't considered that Taehyung knew more than just American and Korean sign language. In fact, he feels like a proper idiot for assuming anything about Taehyung's deafness. Jeongguk had been born with congenital deafness, simple as that. Jeongguk doesn't know hardly anything about Taehyung or his life but thinks he might like to.

-

"What did you think of Taehyung?" Jackson asks him when they get back to the house.

Jeongguk gives him an incredulous look— Mark had been translating his eagerness all the way home. Jackson laughs, and Jeongguk blushes. 

Taehyung was _awesome_. He talked to Jeongguk about his interest in being an adoption agent, and only smiled at him when he explained that he was adopted. Taehyung had complained to Seokjin wanting some _real_ food, not just the stingy salad. 

'Ya, be supportive,' Seokjin signed aggressively, a twitch of his lips revealing that he's not as serious as he seems. 

Still, Jeongguk had offered up a few of his cheesy fries left in his basket and huffed out a laugh when he mocks Seokjin with it. 

Namjoon is extremely intelligent, he learns, and it's no surprise that he and Jackson made such fast friends. Even Mark and Seokjin seem to get along scarily great, considering how reserved Mark is in comparison to Seokjin. Jeongguk couldn't gauge a lot of Taehyung's character yet, but he was sure that there was nothing he could hate about him. 

Part of him, the overwhelmingly pessimistic part of him, still thinks that someone is going to pull the rug out from underneath of him. His smaller, less apparent, optimistic part (named Jackson Wang) was absolutely thrilled to find out that Jeongguk and Taehyung had exchanged phone numbers. Not to say that Jeongguk's inner optimist hadn't jumped for joy that he'd made a new friend, but that inner part of him was also prone to unnecessary attachment. 

Unfortunately for his pessimist, he was already attached.

-

It's only later that night, when he's back in the comfort of his apartment, that Jackson hears anything from Namjoon.

He's halfway through some American sitcom when his phone lights up from the armrest, and he ignores it at first until seconds pass and another notification lights up the screen. 

**Namjoon | 22:23 | Taehyung adores your brother. He says they've been texting and everything already. I really think this will be good for them. And Seokjin and I love Jeongguk too, by the way. Nowhere near as bratty and annoying as you told me he would be ; )**

**Namjoon | 22:24 | annoying little brothers, you have to love them. it's almost impossible not to when they're as amazing as ours. but you can't always tell them that, because they're our annoying little brothers. i'm rambling, excuse me. I still mean it though, I hope that we can all get together again sometime soon!**

Jackson catches himself grinning fondly at the newfound friendship between their brothers, and at the sentiment from Namjoon. He was definitely right when it came to having amazing little brothers. Namjoon was also right when he called them annoying.

-

BamBam, his one and only savior is the only reason that Jeongguk doesn't quit on the first day.

Jeongguk hasn't even done anything remotely _wrong_ , yet he felt completely helpless as BamBam would come around and correct something that he missed. 

"Don't beat yourself up!" He would reassure him, lips moving exaggeratedly like Jeongguk had told him when they met. "It's only your first day!" And then he would hand Jeongguk another dish to clean and they would continue through the rush. 

His job is mostly clearing tables, washing dishes, and making sure that certain foods stay stocked for easy access. He catches on quickly, ever the overachiever, and tries his hardest to avoid a mistake. Of course, that doesn't bar him from making mistakes, and he is absolutely mortified when he goes to clear off a table only to find out that the man had only gone to the bathroom. 

At the end of the shift, after he's finished mopping and cleaning the things he's been told to, he waves goodbye to the shop owner and hangs up his apron. He's almost to the door when he notices BamBam standing up and walking over to him, notepad in hand. 

_You did really good, you learn much quicker than I did. Do you need a ride home?_ The paper reads, and Jeongguk smiles. 

He takes the pen that BamBam holds out to him and writes against the booth they're standing beside. _Thank you, and thank you for your help. I'm just waiting on my brother, he's picking me up._

BamBam nods and motions for the door. They walk out and Jeongguk is expecting BamBam to walk away, to go home, so he waves goodbye, only to have the other lead him to the bench just outside of the pizzeria, an unspoken, 'I'll wait with you,' that Jeongguk is grateful for. 

As they wait in each other's presence, not conversing, Jeongguk thinks of an old idiom that makes him bubble up with humor. _The silence is deafening,_ his mind supplies, and he feels the rumble in his chest that tells him that he's making _some_ kind of noise akin to a laugh.

BamBam looks at him, eyebrow raised. Jeongguk reaches for the small notepad and pen on the bench beside the other. BamBam reads as he writes, smacking him on the arm in amusement. 

That seems to break the lull in the conversation, the notepad quickly fills up with mundane questions and anecdotes that shouldn't mean so much to Jeongguk. Overall, he's completely content by the time that Jackson picks him up. After a short introduction between the two and waving goodbye to his new friend, Jeongguk happily walks along the boardwalk with his hyung. 

"I guess that things went well?" Jackson assumes, and Jeongguk cheekily grins as he signs. 

'Actually, it sucked. But I made a friend.' He laughs before pulling out his phone to check everything he had missed during his first day. Jeongguk felt especially grateful that he wasn't working a lot until the other person in that position left, which was an estimated month away still. 

Jackson shakes his head, turning the key to the ignition. The kid is too focused on his phone to notice that Jackson murmurs to himself, "I'm really happy for you, kid. Really, really, happy." 

Jeongguk happily plays on his phone the entirety of the ride home, but quickly put it away when Jackson pulls into an In-N-Out and motions to get out of the car.

The time between leaving the car and sitting down at their table with their food is uneventful, other than Jeongguk telling Jackson what he wanted to eat. When they do (finally) sit down with food, Jeongguk happily devours his burger while Jackson signs to him. 

'Seriously, how was your first day?' Jackson signs, waiting patiently as Jeongguk tries to swallow down his overly-large bite of burger. 'Your co-worker seemed nice, we talked for a second when I dropped you off.' Jeongguk nods vigorously, hands reaching for a napkin. 

'He's really nice. I forgot a few things and got overwhelmed, but he fixed them and encouraged me. I'm also kind of tired and sick of textile things. I may be sick if mom makes me do dishes, my fingers feel like they've pruned permanently.' Jeongguk jokes, only partially kidding about the textile stimulation bothering him. He's smelled too many smells, felt too many slimy things, and his apron seemed to rub just the wrong way on his neck for most of his shift. It's nothing he couldn't manage, obviously, but it was overwhelming to already have so many nerves running through him being paired with a large number of unwanted senses. 

'I really am glad.' Jackson restates, surprisingly proud of his younger brother, despite his wariness before. Instead of focusing on that, Jackson picks up his burger just as Jeongguk picks up his second one. Challenge in his eyes, he quickly tries to shove as much as he can into his mouth, resulting in a chirping noise from the younger as he watches Jackson make a fool of himself. 

_Awesome little brothers,_ Jackson thinks. Namjoon was right.

-

**taehyung | 14:37 | me and namjoon-hyung are going out for lunch, do you want to come with us?**

Jeongguk reads, laying sideways off of his bed. This was a new development in his life, just like everything else that came with the move. 

Since his first day of work, he's had two more shifts, both with BamBam who was no less kind to him as time went on. He's kept contact with the boy outside of work as well, through text. But Jeongguk had been texting Taehyung almost four times the amount that he has with BamBam. 

His confidence grows as they text, not having to face the _face_ of the other. Taehyung, while kind and funny, had unfair features that he couldn't even dare to compare to his own, and it was intimidating, to say the absolute least. They met almost once a week for lunch, Taehyung with Namjoon and Jeongguk with Jackson and Mark. 

Today, though, Jackson and Mark are at some pretentious art exhibit that Jeongguk is positive is a date. 

**jeongguk | 14:38 | hyung is with mark-hyung out somewhere right now : (**

**taehyung | 14:39 | it's a good thing i wasn't asking them, then : )**

-

'Thank you for inviting me,' Jeongguk bows after he signs, sitting down in the booth across from the brothers.

'Of course, hi Gguk.' Taehyung signs, and Jeongguk tries his _damnedest_ not to blush. _That_ was a new development in his life as well. Getting annoyingly flustered when Taehyung was the tiniest bit nice to him. It was hard not to get flustered around any of the Kim brothers, all of them being as absolutely ethereal as the next, and having shining personalities on top of it. 

Jeongguk and Taehyung texted quite a lot, for people that just met. Or maybe it's completely average, but Jeongguk hasn't exactly had many similar experiences in making friends, so it's really irrelevant. He knows that Taehyung's favorite color is purple because its a symbol of love, and that he loves tigers because of how powerful they can be, but also because of a cartoon that he watched as a kid. He and Taehyung had even face-timed once until the quality became so low that they couldn't make out what the other was signing through the mass of pixelation. No matter what they talked about, Taehyung was always upbeat, happily talking about anything and everything.

Taehyung himself was exceptionally sweet and kind to Jeongguk, despite Jeongguk being as _Jeongguk_ as he is. Exhibit A; Taehyung was dressed to the absolute nines in a dress shirt that was tucked into a pair of light jeans, and Jeongguk is wearing sweatpants and a hoodie that he picked up off of the floor and gave a quick sniff to. But Taehyung was no less kind to him, regardless of how much Jeongguk felt like he came out of a _trash bin._

'So, you told me that your first day was awful. How was your second day?' Taehyung asks as they wait for a server. Namjoon seems to be paying an equal amount of attention as Jeongguk lifts his hands. 

'It wasn't horrible. I got paid and it feels kind of awesome to have some of my own money.' He says and Namjoon nods along, but Taehyung is quickly distracted by the waitress that has approached them. He can tell that Taehyung is ordering, Namjoon watching him proudly. Jeongguk is kind of awed, even if he can't quite tell what he's saying based on his side profile. When the waitress turns to Jeongguk, Namjoon looks like he's going to cut in when Jeongguk pulls a slip of paper from his pocket and hands it to her.

_Hello, I'm Deaf._  
I'd like a honey milk tea,  
an order of fried chicken,  
and a large order of cheese fries.  
Thank you! 

When she leaves with a smile and a promise to be quick.

When he turns back to Taehyung, the elder has a look in his eye that he decidedly doesn't act on and instead goes on about his clinical study. 

"He's been throwing an absolute fit over these scrubs that we got him as a surprise." Namjoon teases, and Jeongguk smiles softly, eyes flicking back and forth between Namjoon's mouth and hands. "He's anal retentive about keeping them perfectly kept, even when he's wearing them." Taehyung frowns, jokingly elbowing his brother in the ribs. 

'They're purple, my first pair of quality scrubs that aren't owned by the program. I'm going to be protective of them.' Taehyung defends, and Jeongguk can imagine Taehyung in the scrubs, and faintly wonders if he'll ever watch Taehyung in action. For now, he's completely content watching Taehyung simply talk about it.

And talk about it, he does. Taehyung can't tell them enough about his shadowing, about the young patients that he was able to talk to. Jeongguk watches attentively, chin propped on his fist, as Taehyung explains in detail the way that he 'scrubbed in' to one of the special clinical things that he was able to attend. 'The only frustration I really have is when they have to put on their masks, and I can't even attempt to read their lips. I read an article once on a deaf doctor who said the same thing.' Taehyung poises his hands for another conversation when a basket intercepts their view, and suddenly Jeongguk is a lot _less_ interested in the Clinical Adventures of Taehyung. 

Immediately, Jeongguk hones in on the fried chicken and cheesy fries set down in front of him. He takes a precursory sip of his honey tea before he's _inhaling_ everything, oblivious to the amused and amazed looks from his lunch mates. 

Jeongguk finishes his meal in a record fifteen minutes, save for the other half of his fries, that he's slowed down on eating. When he finds himself back in the land of the living, he notices two things— that Namjoon is on the phone, and Taehyung is begrudgingly eating his salad, glancing down at the cheesy fries every few seconds. When he notices that Jeongguk is paying attention again, he drops his fork. 

Jeongguk feels a little guilty for eating something so unhealthy when Taehyung was going through his own personal hellacious diet. Not that it was particularly grueling, because Taehyung boasts about Seokjin's cooking, but he was less than thrilled about having to exchange his cheeseburger with salads. 

Namjoon catches their attention with a few successive taps to the table and then points at the door with an apologetic smile. The younger two wave him off easily, and once he's out the door Jeongguk slides the other half of his fries over to Taehyung who smiles so large that his lips form the little box that makes Jeongguk's heart beat a little faster. They share the fries for a couple of minutes, making dumb faces while the pile of cheese drowned potatoes decreases significantly. 

The basket empties and Taehyung signs a grateful 'thank you', to which Jeongguk waves off. 

'We should go to the pier sometime, I like the ferris wheel. I can't drive, but we'd manage.' Jeongguk subtly suggests, still on the cusp of anxious. He _is_ comfortable with Taehyung, and considers him a friend, even. They talk as often as they can, but sometimes it feels a little too formal with each other. Of course, they still haven't hung out together properly without the presence of their brothers, which Jeongguk understands. Jeongguk has an almost unhealthy attachment to Jackson and sometimes forgets that they were best friends before they were brothers, wingmen before protector and protected. Still, this 'friend of a friend' feeling _sucks_ and he wants it to stop. 

He doesn't realize that he had tensed up until Taehyung's hands are excitedly signing in agreement. 'I love Santa Monica! I can drive if you're comfortable with that, or we can have Joon and Jackson-hyung take us so we can talk on the way.' Taehyung winks at him and Jeongguk is only faintly aware of the excited rumble in his chest. He wills it away, hoping it wasn't loud. 'So, when do you think we should go? It's almost September so we should probably do it soon before the sea breeze makes things too cold.' 

Jeongguk shrugs, blushing a little. 'I don't really have a packed schedule, we'd just have to pick a day that works for you.' In fact, Taehyung could probably ask him to go at any point in this next week and he wouldn't likely have to move anything around in his schedule. He usually does his homework early in the mornings while he's waiting for his mom to finish breakfast, and goes to the gym just after that, all before eight in the morning. (Results may vary, he's not the easiest to wake up.) So far, he's only scheduled to work mid-afternoon every other week until the other person leaves the position, which leaves him a total of three hundred and thirty-one hours in two weeks to do whatever he feels like. 

"Sorry," Namjoon signs, sitting down abruptly, startling Jeongguk, "Someone from work, it's a mess over there." Jeongguk grins, earning a smile back from Namjoon. "I picked up the bills, but we can hang out for as long as you guys want to." He signs, and Jeongguk blinks in shock, shyly thanking the elder. 

'Gguk and I made plans to go to Santa Monica soon, to the pier. Think that Jin-hyung will give up the car keys for a few hours?' Namjoon's eyebrows raise in surprise. 'Or would _you_ be willing to give up the keys to your car?' Taehyung asks, plastering a sickeningly sweet expression on his face while putting his hand on his fist. He glances over at Jeongguk who is watching in amusement as Namjoon protests and waves his hand at Jeongguk to join him in his begging. 

Putting on his biggest smile and leaning forward on his two hands, he signs out a lazy, 'please hyung'. Namjoon sighs, slouching back with his head against the booth in defeat. 

"Do the chores you're supposed to, and maybe. You have to fill it up before coming home _and_ wash it." He points at Jeongguk then, with a broken serious face. "I can handle Tae's pleading, but you? I thought you were above that, Jeongguk." He signs, his face a solid expression of betrayal. 

This is one of the good moments, Jeongguk thinks, that feel like they're more than formal, more than just brothers of the friends to their brothers.

-

Jeongguk nearly jumps out of his skin entirely when he spots two dark figures in the doorway to the basement. He's nearly worked himself up to do something when the light turns on and he's temporarily blinded. When he opens his eyes again, brief throbbing behind them gone, Jackson is standing in the doorway hunched over in a laugh with Mark at his side.

When Jackson does eventually calm down, one look at Jeongguk's large eyed glare has him doubling over again, leaving Mark to explain. 

"Your parents sent us down here to get you for dinner, they want to go out. He's just laughing at you like a mean hyung." Jeongguk huffs, shock fading back into tiredness. He had barely got home from his first early afternoon shift without BamBam at the pizza parlor and immediately fell onto the couch in the den just outside of his room. He _hated_ when outside clothes got onto his bed and dirtied it, and he wasn't going to allow his pizza and pasta stench to infect his perfect sheets. 

Jeongguk nods and gets up, cringing at the lingering smell from work. 'I'm going to take a quick shower and change, then I'll be up. Thirty minutes at the most.' Jackson sends him a thumbs up before dragging his friend back up the stairs that they came from.

This shift had taken a lot out of him, and he can't act like he doesn't know why. He had been halfway through his shift when a large party had come in and made an absolute mess, which set them back a little bit. Jeongguk isn't child enough to complain about a little extra work, but then he got something on him that nearly nose raped him, and he briefly considered how much money would be wasted if he threw away all of the ranches in a twenty-mile radius. Jeongguk doesn't understand how they can eat their pizza with it anyways. 

After that, he started to pick up on some of the things that he usually tuned out of his mind. The way that the lights in the kitchen reflected off of the shiny machines a little too bright. The knot on his apron sat weird on his neck which distracted him enough that he didn't notice that he'd accidentally knocked against the temperature dial. Jeongguk nearly breaks the plate when the water scalds his skin, leaving it to tingle for the rest of the shift. 

When Jackson finally showed, he was so irritable and exhausted that he'd grabbed the stray hoodie from the back of his truck and tried to focus on the softness of it instead of accidentally releasing any anger out onto his unwitting brother. 

After his nap, he's still drained, but far less irritable. His hand isn't red anymore, but Jeongguk can still feel a phantom pain when he drags the washcloth over it. The water and scentless soaps are relaxing, to say the least, and he's tempted to spend another ten minutes in there. But he tries to keep to his word, and too soon he's pulling on a pair of ripped jeans and a yellow shirt that Mark handed down to him. It's soft and feels like everything he needs to get through dinner. 

He's in the midst of putting on his deodorant when he notices that his phone is lighting up. 

There are lots of notifications, actually, and he realizes that he hasn't actually been on his phone today. But right at the top is a message from Taehyung. 

**taehyung | 18:49 | facetime me?**

Technically, he still has ten minutes. Really, it's an easy decision. 

'Jeonggukie!' Taehyung signs quickly, and Jeongguk is grateful that his parents changed their Wi-Fi so that they could do this. 'I can't see you,' Taehyung tells him, pout on his lips. 

But Jeongguk can see him, and he feels warmth bubbling in him when he sees that Taehyung is wearing a hoodie instead of his normal dress shirts. The tables have turned, it seems. 'Sorry,' Jeongguk signs once his phone is propped on his side table, 'I was getting ready when you texted, I haven't been on my phone at all today.' 

But Taehyung's face on the screen is unmoving, lips parted slightly and eyes unblinking. Jeongguk thinks it must be frozen until Taehyung's head shakes a little bit, and he's quickly apologizing. There's a rumbling that Jeongguk feels in his chest, _laughter_ , his mind supplies, that he doesn't bother hiding when it's just Taehyung. Taehyung who can't hear it anymore than he can. 

'You're dressed up. Yellow looks good on you.' Taehyung tells him, eyes still dazed. Jeongguk wonders if he's sick, but he knows that either Seokjin or Namjoon would take care of him if they really thought so. Seokjin is especially protective, Jeongguk found out recently. He had gone over with Jackson when his hyung went to study, and Seokjin was kindly buzzing around them to get them drinks and whatnot. There is no doubt in Jeongguk's mind that if Taehyung is sick, he won't be for long. 'What _are_ you dressed up for?'

Jeongguk checks the time, pouting for a moment before answering. 'We're going out to dinner in like, five minutes. What did you want to facetime for?' 

'I just wanted to talk, hang out and stuff. We'll talk when you get back, no worries.' Jeongguk can't help but deepen his pout upon hearing that. 

'I wish you could come over and we could just hang out tonight.' Jeongguk huffs along with his statement, knowing he looks a little bit childish. 'We don't hang out enough like that.'

'Why don't I? I mean, after your dinner, obviously. That is if it isn't something like a birthday, I wouldn't want to intrude. But we could.' Taehyung suggests, and Jeongguk perks up a little. A message comes through on the top of the screen from his mom, asking him if he's almost ready. 

'I'll talk to mom, and I'll tell you what she says. I have to go, Tae!' It's a very quick goodbye, and a taxing sprint up the stairs before he can really find himself getting excited. They'd hung out often enough over lunches, where half of their time was spent with hands full of food, or at Taehyung's when Jackson needed help studying. They hadn't had the chance to come to _his_ house, and Jeongguk was pathetically giddy at the prospect of a sleepover. Sue him, the only sleepovers he had when he was younger was with Jackson. 

It's no surprise when Sarah and Ruiji agree without needing to be convinced. Jeongguk and Taehyung plan it out through text. 

**taehyung | 19:07 | i'll see you then gguk o(^▽^)o**

It goes without saying that Jeongguk is really, _really_ excited too. 

Even sitting down at the fancy restaurant and finding out that they've got little to none of his favorite foods on it, Jeongguk is giddy. 

Mark and Jackson take notice right away, dumb to the situation as they had met them at the restaurant. 

"What's got you all bunny toothed?" Jackson teases, and Jeongguk eagerly tells him that Taehyung's coming over for the night. Jackson teases him, of course. "A sleepover? You're replacing me with a new friend? Aish." Jeongguk rolls his eyes but his grin defies it. 

'Ah but hyung! You've replaced me with Mark-hyung!' He says, poking said hyung with the end of his silverware. 

The air stills around them for a little over a second before Jackson nudges Mark gently with his shoulder, a soft smile adorning his face as he says, "Mark is more than just a friend." Celebration erupts, and Jeongguk is shocked. He's not opposed to this by any means; there couldn't possibly be someone better for Jackson than Mark. But he has spent so long berating himself after the locker room incident that he had automatically assumed that he wouldn't be accepted for his own identity. 

But god, he's _thrilled_ for his hyungs. 

'Does this mean I can see Mark-hyung more? You're always stealing him from us.' Jeongguk signs after their parents settle down, and laughter lights up Mark's face. And Jackson looks at him like he's everything good in the world, and something in Jeongguk resolves like he's been waiting for Jackson's moment. Because that's not only what a brother would do, but a best friend.

-

**taehyung | 20:48 | joon is going to drop me off, we should be there in five!**

Jeongguk is probably _radioactive_ with excitement. It's been a good night, at least after his shift. He no longer feels the need to crawl out of his skin and migrate to a new one like a hermit crab, no matter how fitting the title. Jeongguk _does_ think that nothing sounds better than swaddling in his soft blankets, because there is nothing more physically calming to him than softness and warmth. 

Even now, as he anxiously buzzes around the foyer while waiting for the familiar flash of headlights through the windows, he is swaddled in one of the soft blankets that his mom had brought home from some office welcoming party that she had been to. She shakes her head at him from her spot in the kitchen where she pulled out some snacks that Jeongguk will inevitably look for later on. 

It's refreshing to Sarah to see him so excited over a friend. She remembers when Jeongguk was a timid little boy looking for someone that he could impress. Sarah remembers how his face lit up when she had leaned forward to sign to him, and how her chest hurt when his parents asked her what he was saying. The feeling of having someone who understood him had made his face light up in rival to the sun. It's eerily similar to his grin right now, as lights mark an arrival, and she's overjoyed that he's found someone that understands him. 

Jeongguk throws open the door when Taehyung's shadow filters through the curtains. Taehyung greets him as well as he can with a duffel on his elbow before turning around to wave at Namjoon who is waving wildly out of the window. Jeongguk smiles as he waves to the elder, moving to hold the door open for Taehyung. 

He's starting to think that he might actually be radioactive when Taehyung looks at him like, well. Like _that_. Open mouthed, wide-eyed, and completely still. 

'Is everything okay?' He signs carefully, not wanting to startle Taehyung if he was having a moment.

On Taehyung's end, a moment consists of short-circuiting when he actually takes a look at Jeongguk. He's not dressed any differently than usual, in a maroon Nike pullover and sweatpants, and a pair of black slippers that remind him of his own sticking out of the side of his bag. No, his clothes aren't much different, but Jeongguk looks ruffled and softer here, less put together, though it may just be the blanket draped over Jeongguk's shoulders. 

Taehyung nods in reply as he reaches back to his slippers and sets them on the floor. Jeongguk catches his attention. 

'You don't have to wear them if you don't want to, they aren't strict about that.' Taehyung shrugs, a soft smile gracing his lips. He bows to Mrs. Wang, careful to be as respectful as possible to their family. Sarah waves to him, which gains Jeongguk's attention. 'We'll be in my room! Thank you for the snacks!'

Before Taehyung had the chance to leave the house, Seokjin was adamant on reminding him of what is expected in Chinese and Korean household. Taehyung had lived in Korea until he was thirteen, then they had moved to California. Seokjin had only been moved out for a year when the accident occurred. When Namjoon and Taehyung had moved to live with their hyung, those house rules were more or less lost in transition. But upon being informed of his sleepover, Seokjin had instantly gone to the closet to find a clean pair of house slippers and go over what was expected. 

As much as he trusts that Jeongguk's parents won't hate him for _not_ wearing the slippers, he doesn't want the image of a disappointing hyung following him around for the remainder of the night. And if Taehyung isn't mistaken, he thinks that Jeongguk's mom gave a nod of approval. 

Taehyung isn't expecting for Jeongguk to launch off of the balls of his feet to drag him through the house, but he's much more distracted by the way being held onto by Jeongguk makes him feel. 

Jeongguk is far too proud of how well he had decorated his room; there are ultra soft sheets on his bed, framed posters on his walls, and pretty led lights that light up the wall of his desk right behind the computer. The pride fills his chest, even more, when Taehyung looks around in awe, taking in the room with excitement. 

Once their eyes connect again, Taehyung smiles at him so kindly that it is impossible to suppress his own. 

'This is awesome! Where do you want me to put my bag?' Taehyung asks, and Jeongguk wants to smack himself for forgetting to help him with it. He motions for the room, letting Taehyung drop the duffel at the end of the bed. Jeongguk pads over to the bed gently, sitting cross-legged and patting the area next to him. 'This is so cool, Gguk. Your house is so pretty.' The elder compliments after he's settled closely enough to the younger that he can feel the dip in the mattress. 

Jeongguk practically purrs in contentment, the soft feeling spreading all throughout him. 'I'll tell my mom that you said that, she'll be ecstatic. And thank you.' Jeongguk takes in the comfortable stance of the other. Taehyung is also cross-legged, arms placed in the open space of his lap where they sit in disuse. 'I figured we could wait to put on a movie, we don't get a lot of time usually to just sit and talk like this.'

'I agree' Taehyung signs. 'How was your dinner?' He asks, and Jeongguk's eyes follow Taehyung's hands, trying to shake off the feeling that he got when he realized that the other had really pretty hands. God, maybe he was a little bit crazy. 

'It was really good. Jackson and Mark finally confirmed their relationship so I'm practically over the moon. But I was even more excited when I realized I got to come home and do this, so you made my night too.' (Jeongguk can't fight the redness that crawls up his neck, and Taehyung can't do anything about the fondness creeping through his head.) 'I'm glad that they had that courage, especially considering that their venn diagram is so niched.' The statement makes Jeongguk blush furiously, realizing that he had just revealed one of his slightly annoying quirks so early on. 

Taehyung only grins, hands imploring him to explain. 'It's like in that one American movie, _The Fault in Our Stars_ , where the boy draws a venn diagram of one-legged, virgin cancer patients. It's just something weird I do. Jackson and Mark have a bigger space because he's Chinese, and Mark is Korean.' 

'Oh, so like deaf Korean's have our own little spot?' Taehyung jokes and Jeongguk lets out a sigh of relief. 

'Exactly. But the venn diagram area for gay, deaf Koreans is much smaller.' Jeongguk admits bravely but regrets it as soon as he sees the shock register on Taehyung's face. 

The elder recovers quickly though, movements timid as he signs, 'Well, then at least we can share that area.' 

God, Jeongguk is completely _gone_ for this boy. 

They eat the snacks that were set out for them, talk about everything from college to their brothers. They even watch a little bit of Taehyung's favorite children show, _The Adventures of Christopher Robin_. 

'I'm really clingy with Namjoon. And vice versa, I think. When I lost my hearing, he was the one that stepped up to help me learn to sign, to become independent again. Seokjin-hyung helped too, obviously, but he had to step up in other ways. It was all a bit of a mess.' Taehyung admits, knee knocking against Jeongguk's as he shifts on the bed to make himself comfortable. Jeongguk had offered him a blanket and found a strange sense of contentment to see Taehyung cocooned in his blanket. Right now he has the urge to get closer, to hug Taehyung and try to comfort him in the best way he knows. 

But for now, he's letting Taehyung open up to him, and he'd rue to interrupt. The elder startles him by turning the conversation around. 

'You and Jackson seem pretty close. Namjoon always says that Jackson is always talking about you.' Taehyung uses the knee that keeps knocking his to purposefully nudge him to speak. 

Jeongguk hums, thinking about his brother's relationship with him. 'We're close, but it's a little bit different, I guess. We were best friends before we became brothers, so that's the largest leading force in our relationship.' He tells Taehyung, unsure of how to accurately depict his relationship with Jackson, especially when he still faces his own insecurities with it.

'You mean brothers before friends?' Taehyung asks, and Jeongguk shakes his head gently, pulling the blanket around his shoulders a little bit tighter. 

'Actually, my parents and Jackson moved to Korea when I was younger. Sarah was hired as a language tutor at the school and was assigned my interpreter when they realized I was falling too far behind in my studies because of the language barrier. What?' Jeongguk stops his conversation when Taehyung begins to frown. 

Taehyung shakes his head, motioning for him to continue. 

'She introduced me to Jackson, who she'd been teaching to sign for some reason. I'm a little clingy, but he didn't seem to mind. I stayed over with them a lot, especially when my,' Jeongguk hesitates, hands slowing for a moment as he struggles to choose the correct words. 'Especially when my biological family began to fall apart. My old father moved away, and when my old mother died, he released his guardianship over to Mom and Dad. Jackson really stepped up to fill his role of being the hyung, I guess. He really is my best friend, and a great brother.' Jeongguk finishes, but it feels like there is something hanging off the end. _But, I still don't feel like I belong here sometimes._ He keeps this to himself. 

Taehyung signs slowly. 'Wow. You all seem so close, I wouldn't have guessed.' He tells Jeongguk, which relieves some of the worries. Jeongguk shrugs, a smile overtaking his face. 

'We are pretty close.' He states simply, reaching over to his bedside to grab a honey candy. 

It's especially sweet.

-

After that night, the dam breaks on whatever awkward tension that had previously filled their conversations. No longer were they brothers of a brother's friend, but _friends_.

Unfortunately for them both, college picks up quickly, the end of August drawing near. Their lives as students became more serious, with Taehyung's clinical tours and the end of Jeongguk's summer courses. Jeongguk only had one other general course that was required before he could start going into the courses that would go toward being an adoption agent. 

There is enough of a gap between each of their responsibilities and sleep schedules to text back and forth. Sometimes Taehyung will send him a selfie in his scrubs before one of his clinical tours, and sometimes Jeongguk would send one back of him in his work uniform just before he leaves. He texts Taehyung throughout the entirety of his first experience of public transit on his way to work. (Newsflash, he absolutely _hates_ the bus.) 

But they do plan their trip to Santa Monica, for the thirty-first of August. Until then, Jeongguk must face his only real hindrance; his _dumb_ job. Not that Jeongguk really hates it, but it's so inconvenient to go into the job with a good mood only to have it ripped violently from him halfway through his shift when his senses began to pick up on the minor inconveniences. BamBam has been making an effort to make conversation with him, despite the obvious limitations. But he's caught on to some phrases that Jeongguk teaches him, and Jeongguk is extremely grateful for that. 

This shift has been especially stressful for him, though, for some reason. It's no longer and no more busy than any other shift he's worked. BamBam still helps him out on some things and he's managed to keep from breaking any dinnerware. For some reason, he's just agitated more than usual with the influx of sensory assault, and he's glad that he isn't in the front often enough to deter customers. 

Jeongguk is in the middle of picking up a table's dishes when he sees wild gestures from his peripheral. 

To his surprise, it's Taehyung and a stranger, and Jeongguk can't do much but bow his head slightly when he realizes that the other is waving. And to his chagrin, he doesn't manage to leave the back after that moment. BamBam takes over the last few tables before the shift ends and Jeongguk is forced to get past his frustration and finish cleaning all of the dishes and then performing his closing responsibilities. Taehyung is gone by the time he is able to get out to the main area to check for stray items. 

Closing feels painful as his hands itch to have his phone in his hand, to apologize to Taehyung for not finding a moment to step out and wave back. But his mind wanders to the _friend_ that Taehyung had with him, and he feels a little envious. Of course, he shouldn't have assumed— too much goes wrong when one assumes— that Taehyung had as little friends as he had. But Taehyung hadn't the same life as him, nor the same circumstances and of course it would be natural for someone like Taehyung to have more friends. 

It doesn't stop him from feeling a little bitter when he doesn't receive an automatic answer when he does finally get his hands on his cellphone to apologize. The only message that Jeongguk receives is an apology and a cash transfer from Jackson's account to ride the bus. 

He lets himself be bitter and decides to walk home. Jeongguk knows the route well enough to get home without his phone, but he turns on the GPS anyway. He's almost convinced that he's made the right choice walking when his night begins to go downhill. 

Jeongguk won't ever know the exact moment, because he never heard the catcalling begin. He's walking past some of the larger office buildings when he's suddenly sat on the sidewalk, the bag still attached to him by the strap on his neck. he can barely make out a single word when he's being pushed down by a hand. The slur runs around his head in circles as he tries to stand again, apologizing greatly. 

Of course, the logical part of his brain thinks that he must have accidentally run into one of them, so he apologizes repeatedly as he collects himself off of the sidewalk. It makes it that much more confusing when he goes to dust himself off and finds himself being spun against a wall. The people walking past turn a blind eye as one of the two men that crowd him begin to make a scene. It's difficult for him to make out the foreign words when they're thrown around so quickly and carelessly, but he gets the gist that he's done something that offended them. 

Jeongguk doesn't know just what that is, but he doesn't find it in him to care when the strap around his throat pulls taught and he's drug forward in the man's attempt to pull it off of him. 

The panic begins to set in when he realizes that he's being mugged and violently so. Jeongguk does the best thing that he can and pulls the bag out of the other man's hands and swings it around until it makes hard contact. The only issue with that is the second man that is all to ready to fight back. 

Jeongguk doesn't process the pain on his eye or the absence of his bag until his phone buzzes in his back pocket. 

**taehyung | 17:38 | it's okay! i figured you were busy : )**

-

"I'm never leaving you alone again. You always have me worried _sick_!" The elder man signs aggressively as his boyfriend dabs the antiseptic onto the cut on his cheekbone.

Jeongguk watches his brother speak slowly for him as well as Mark while he wipes the dried blood off of his cheekbone. "Mark, he didn't mean for this to happen. The bus is overwhelming." Jeongguk's eyes flick over to the other, who is stopped in his place after his time pacing. 

Jeongguk is sat on the counter of the kitchen with Jackson gently at his side, but Mark had been pacing since they watched him walk into the door, slightly dazed and empty-handed, blood drying on his cheek. 

"I know that. I'm just worried. Jeongguk, please just tell us something. You can't expect us not to report this to someone."

'They were two older men smoking in an alleyway. They were probably homeless or something.' He tells them, but he isn't inclined to do so. Jeongguk is shaken up quite possibly the worst that he has been since losing Jackson in Japan. California had been so good to him that he forgot just how similar every country is in that they all have people in it that are willing to hurt. And Jeongguk is, in fact, hurt. 

Jackson sets down the cotton swab and carefully turns Jeongguk's head with the tips of his fingers. Once he deems his brother mostly intact, he sets his hands down for a beat before lifting them to sign. 

"I won't make you go to the doctor, but only if I can convince Taehyung to come and check you out." Despite the intention behind his words, the choice of said words still made his cheeks red. Jeongguk nods in agreement, and Mark sags in relief. 

Part of Jeongguk feels guilty. Jackson had sent him the money to take the bus, and out of pure irritation, he put himself into a dangerous situation. That one decision led to him getting mugged, beat up, and then walking the rest of the way home only to freak out his family. But while Mark had indeed panicked, Jackson had been pensive and impassive from the moment that he'd sat down with the first aid kit. 

It's at the moment that Jackson walks out of the room to call Namjoon that the events begin to catch up with him. Before the altercation, Jeongguk had been swimming in nerves and overwhelmed senses which had been temporarily forgotten as he numbly made his way home. But now its as if every minimal scratch from his apron, the smell of the pizzeria on his skin, the gravel from the alley scratching his palms, the cotton ball rubbing his cheek— everything was piling on top of his guilt and it makes him shake slightly. 

Jeongguk looks over to where Mark is sitting to see him paying attention to his phone, and Jeongguk feels more anxious at the thought of interrupting him than anxious at the thought of dealing with the anxiousness alone. That's what he intends to do when he slides off of the kitchen counter, only to find that his legs are much weaker than he'd anticipated. 

Mark crouches down to meet his eyes where Jeongguk has found himself on the floor. 

"Hey, it's going to be alright. We're here. What do you need, Gguk?" The nickname reminds him of Taehyung, and the thought of signing out the elder's name briefly flashes through his mind before he signs out, 'Bed'. 

And Jeongguk hates the feeling of his hyung's hands on his arms. Jeongguk knows that he won't make it to his room without Mark's help, but he absolutely hates the way that his hands feel against his waist. Everything is pissing him off _so_ much. Later, he'll feel bad for pulling his hyung's hand off so forcibly, but for now, he's shaking and full of anxious energy. Just looking at his bed makes him upset; he can't get in bed with his day clothes on, because dirtying the sheets would only serve to make him more upset. But Jeongguk doesn't want to shower or change, he just wants to strip and lay in his soft blankets. 

Jeongguk shuts the door to the bathroom hastily. 

Mark wilts as the bathroom door slams. 

Mark remembers Jackson telling him about these kinds of episodes, so he knows that he shouldn't take any of Jeongguk's actions to heart. But he feels helpless and guilty as he tries to _call_ after Jeongguk when he'd pushed him away. Jeongguk would be none the wiser, but he still feels like he's doing everything wrong as a friend. 

Sitting in Jeongguk's room won't do him any good, so he walks back up the stairs to the kitchen where Jackson is sitting. 

"Are you alright?" Jackson asks him gently as he sits in the chair next to him at the island. "I know he's not violent, but he can forget how strong he is sometimes," Jackson says more to himself than to Mark, like he's just speaking to make himself feel better. 

Mark nods, letting his head rest on his palm. "I was dumb, though. I tried to call out to him." Mark huffs out a laugh void of humor. "But how are you? The two of you are closer than him and I." 

Jackson shrugs. Jeongguk had only decided to walk because _he_ hadn't felt like leaving the house after their parents left. Jackson should have known that Jeongguk would be irritable after work, just like he always is. He should have considered that after the afternoon of sensory harassment that Jeongguk wouldn't take the bus. Jeongguk himself had described the bus as three rush hour shifts packed into one. 

Worst of all, Jeongguk had been hurt and probably threatened. The men that Jeongguk described- older men smoking in the alleyways of downtown- are just the type that Jackson associates with catcalling. The thought only makes him angrier. 

"Hey, he'll be okay. Did you talk to Namjoon about Taehyung?" Mark breaks him out of his thoughts.

Jackson nods. "Yeah. They're going to leave as soon as their friends leave in a little while. I told him not to worry about it and that we could take care of it, but he insisted. Namjoon said they'd be leaving in about an hour, so we should expect them in about two. It gives Jeongguk some time to calm down at least, maybe even rest a while." Jackson explains, finally moving to hug his boyfriend. 

"He's going to be okay." Mark hums. 

"Yeah, he will be."

-

When the Kim brothers arrive, it's a flurry of scrubs, apologies, and food.

Taehyung flies past the boyfriends completely on his mission to Jeongguk's room. Or, in their eyes a purple streak with a large bag on his back and an unidentified object in his hand.

Namjoon runs in next, apologizing profusely from the doorway. "I told him what you told me, that Jeongguk isn't in that bad of shape, but he seemed absolutely determined to find out for himself. And he insisted that we stop and get him a tea. _And_ Seokjin wanted to bring food. I'm sorry." Namjoon spits out quickly, hands following along unwittingly. 

Jackson laughs tiredly. "It's alright. And thank you guys, really. I didn't mean to interrupt you from your friends." He says honestly, only to be completely cut off by a large bag pushing through the front door, followed by Seokjin. "Is that all food?" Jackson asks, eyes widening. 

"Oh god no. I didn't have _that_ much time." The elder says, toeing off his shoes and pulling a pair of slippers out. "Here, Joon-ah." He pulls out a second pair. 

"You don't have to wear them if you don't want to. We aren't very traditional when it comes to that." Jackson tries, only to be waved off. 

"I just brought some takeout Korean barbecue. Namjoon said that he was coming home from work, so I assumed that he hadn't eaten yet, and there's no better comfort food than Korean food." Seokjin explains, pulling a takeout bag from the larger one. "There's enough in there for the two of you as well. The rest of the bag is Taehyungs." 

When Mark and Jackson raise their eyebrows, Namjoon speaks up tiredly. "We aren't one-hundred percent confident that we'll get him to leave once he's made up his mind." 

Downstairs, Taehyung opens the door and turns on the lights to see a sleeping figure in the bed, and sighs. 

When Namjoon explained to him that Jeongguk had been mugged on his way home from work, he had instantly begun to worry. So as soon as he was asked to come by to check over him, he had jumped on the chance, throwing on the cleanest nearby item of clothing; his scrubs. It had been terribly ironic. 

Along the way, they had stopped to get takeout, and Taehyung had quickly run into a nearby shop to pick up a honey tea for Jeongguk and began to worry again in the car. And the amount of worry that he felt was confusing. 

Jeongguk and Taehyung had only been friends for a few weeks, yet he was so _attached_. 

Which is probably the reason his heartstrings pull taught when he sees Jeongguk look so small in his bed. 

Taehyung knows what hypersensitivity is because he had experienced it too. His first year after the accident had been anxiety filled and he spent the majority of his time feeling completely overwhelmed. Taehyung's body had welcomed the increase of senses before his mind had, and sometimes even a hug from the wrong person made him upset or irritated. 

He wonders what it feels like for Jeongguk. He knows that the younger is especially sensitive to touch and often calms down by drowning himself in soft blankets, just as he is now. 

Jeongguk is asleep, and as much as Taehyung knows that waking him up in this state could be bad for his mood, Taehyung is much more concerned with his physical well being. So he sets down his duffel at the end of the bed and gently rubs the younger's arm through the blanket to try to wake him. 

The mass of blanket begins to move. Taehyung doesn't cease in his ministrations, but he remains just as gentle. Eventually, Jeongguk's head lifts off of his pillow to meet the elder's eyes, and Taehyung would pout at the cut on his cheek if the expression on Jeongguk's face wasn't so adorable. Jeongguk has a natural pout when he isn't thinking about it, which is much more defined as he wakes up. 

The first time he noticed it was the morning after their first sleepover when Jeongguk was calm and pliant and a little bit shocked to see him laying there. But now Jeongguk's pout is disturbed by a grimace, and what he assumes is a hiss of pain as the younger bares his teeth and tenses up. Pain looks a lot less cute on Jeongguk than morning sloth. 

'Hey, Gguk.' Taehyung signs once, then twice when Jeongguk closes his eyes during the first try. It's frustrating, but he knows that he needs to have patience with Jeongguk especially. He's barely awoke, in pain, and decidedly on edge by the way Jackson had explained it. (The trained part of Taehyung immediately wonders if the younger has hit his head, and makes a mental note to check his eyesight and motor functions. Friend Taehyung wants to cuddle and kiss it better. Trainee physician doesn't let him second guess that thought.)

'Tae?' Jeongguk signs slowly, hands barely poking out of the comfort of his blankets, revealing a pair of yellow sleeves. 

'Your brother said he had a kid who needed checking up on. Sounded like my kind of gig.' Taehyung jokes, trying to maintain the fine line between professional and friend, so he doesn't offend Jeongguk or cross a line. 

He's lucky enough, as Jeongguk smiles a little bit. He sits up but tightens his grip around the blankets covering his body below the neck. 

'Will you allow me to check over you? I won't do anything special, but I want to make sure that you don't have a concussion or need a more thorough exam.' Taehyung signs, making sure that Jeongguk's eyes stay open and focused on what he's asking. Jeongguk looks like he wants to object, but doesn't, thankfully. 'You can object if you want me to stop. Just tap my arm, please. Can I feel your ribs quickly?" 

His answer comes in the form of loosened blankets and a reluctant 'okay'. 

For a few minutes, friend Taehyung is turned off for the most part. Taehyung is entirely aware of Namjoon and Jackson in the room, having filtered in some time ago. Taehyung finds that Jeongguk is mostly bruised and shaken up mentally, with only a small scratch to scar and leave evidence. 

Once he's finished, Taehyung relaxes. Grinning wide, he reaches around either side of Jeongguk to grab the blankets and cocoon him again. 

Jeongguk turns positively purple as the elder gets so close to him. It's one thing to go under an examination. It's a whole other field when your nurse happens to be your might-be-crush in a situation that looks a little too intimate for his pining. That situation being; Taehyung in his bed, feeling up his ribs, followed by the elder holding onto his cheeks and turning his head as he stares deep into his eyes, before reaching around him as if he was going to wrap him in a hug. 

Sue him if he feels a little bit flustered at the situation, in or out of context. 

His embarrassed pining turns soft when Taehyung reaches for something and comes back into his sight with a familiar drink. ( _He would feel so embarrassed if he was aware of his chirping,_ Jackson thinks.)

When Taehyung extends the cup for Jeongguk to take, he does so in absolute awe, holding it just outside of his cave of comfort. 

'Something sweet for someone sweet.' Taehyung tells him, face only a little flushed. Jeongguk coos, but reminds himself to check the temperature of the room later, wondering if it was too warm for Taehyung. 

Jeongguk's day has been absolutely chaotic. He had spent a majority of his day at work overwhelmed and ready to go home, only to be intercepted by a couple of alley cats looking for someone to harass. Once he had arrived home, he'd finally reached his peak of panic and had become insufferable toward his hyung. And once he'd slept off some of that anxiety and fear and anger, he was visited by Taehyung who not only made sure that he was healthy but had arrived in his _scrubs_. And now, here Jeongguk was, absolutely awestruck by such a simple gift. 

Taehyung managed his blush after using his pickup line well. That doesn't stop him from becoming completely flustered when Jeongguk so carelessly throws around possibly the most perfect line to ruin his composure. 

'So I'm the Pooh to your Tigger.' Jeongguk reaches out to trace the cartoon tiger on his breast pocket just afterward. 'Tigger brought me honey.'

The moment almost seems too intimate to watch, for Jackson and Namjoon, but they can't help but smile as they walk away to the gentle 'chirps' coming from the happiness of the two boys on the bed. 

_“I don’t feel very much like Pooh today," said Pooh.  
"There there," said Piglet. "I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little reality check while writing the second chapter that it makes some people INTENSELY uncomfy when writers used romanized words in their fics. I sincerely apologize for anyone who was upset with that inclusion in the first part of HONEY, but I will not change it for the sake of the story. In this chapter, I have used hyung briefly and mostly in situations where it sounds odd of me to put 'older brother' in as a substitute. Also, please do not comment on how it is piglet and not tigger in the ending quotation because i am acutely aware and still absolutely adore the quote and the stories themselves. 
> 
>  
> 
> Finally, I would like to bring to your attention the reason for my capitalization of 'Deaf' in Jeongguk's letter to the waitress. I have a very good friend who is directly involved in the deaf community, and they explained to me that by choosing to describe oneself as Deaf is to state explicit pride in their deafness, and while my description won't do it justice, I encourage you to look into it!
> 
> please come talk to me on [twitter i'm a lonely bean!](https://twitter.com/urljaye)  
> [heres my cc](https://curiouscat.me/urljaye) so you can ask me things  
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> 
> x Jaye

**Author's Note:**

> (Ariel if you're reading this step on my neck)  
> (Emmy if you're reading this, I DID IT)  
> (Mom if you're reading this, plz don't)
> 
> 자기 + this is the Korean word for the endearment form of 'honey', which is purposefully used in the title. 
> 
> Comments & Kudos keep me alive, but if you wouldn't mind clicking on this [link](https://goo.gl/forms/VtQ0lFBNCLO7fkOF2) that would be mcflippin awesome. 
> 
> (Subscribe bc I don't have a strict posting schedule and I'm not likely to warn you on twitter)
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/urljaye)  
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/urljaye)
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> 
> (<3)


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